12:12:12, Double Vision, Maya Mania, and the “I AM” solution (or, unexpected wisdom from Jim Carrey?)

This is it.  It’s serious now.  Only eight days left until I go missing somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle and Goddess-only-knows what will happen to the rest of you.

So maybe it’s a 2012 thing, but for the past couple of weeks our dog has been displaying a perfect bindi over her third eye:

dog with bindi

OK, so I pasted this one on, but this is how she appears to me these days because I’ve been having a minor case of double vision myself.  Actually, Tasha looks more like this to me now:

our dog now sports a bindi

I’ve had odd and annoying MS-related vision problems numerous times in the past, but I find this episode somehow comforting.  Perhaps Tasha, too, is experiencing the “shift“?  The closer we get 12/21/12, the more willing I am to see the signs.  And they’re everywhere.

Enough to drive one mad.

Take numerology, for instance.  12/12/2012 and 12/21/2012 are purportedly special dates because they both add up to 11, a so-called “Master number”  (1+2+1+2+2+1+2=11).  Some say that noticing or seeing 11:11 everywhere is a sign one is raising her consciousness in preparation for the Big Shift.

In fact, frequently noticing double digits of any sort is supposed to be a clue that one’s DNA is either being recoded to deal with the fifth dimension we are rapidly being propelled into, or a sign to remind us “light workers” and “star seed” who we really are (i.e., weird lonely beings with supernatural skills from other galaxies).

If that’s the case, I’m screwed. 

My Life Path number is 11.  The numbers associated with one version of my full name are 11,1,1, and 11.  My birthday’s Maya Haab date is 11 Mak. (Don’t ask me to explain that one! Just yesterday (12/12/12), I happened to look at the clock at precisely 3:33, 4:44, 5:44, 6:55, 11:11, 1:44 and 3:22.  I had 222 emails in my junk folder at 9:11, 277 at 1:33, plus 22 likes and 11 comments on my new FB picture.  And I woke from a nightmare early this morning at 12:34 — not remembering what the dream was, but absolutely terrified by the sequential numbers (no double digits!) on the clock.

I’m starting to feel like Jim Carrey’s character in The Number 23:

Jim Carey in The Number 23, written by Fernley Phillips

Remember how Carrey’s obsession with that number destroyed his life?  (Incidentally, one of my screenwriting mentors, Fernley Phillips, wrote that script and pitched it to Jim Carrey upon learning the actor’s favorite number really is 23.)  But the connections get odder still.

Two days ago I watched a documentary by director Tom Shadyac called I Am.  I had never heard of the film, but for some mysterious reason the DVD appeared in my Amazon shopping cart last week when I was buying surf wear for next week’s dolphin trip.  It  was literally in my shopping cart — not my “save for later” or “wish list.”  Given my current level of openness to (desperation for?) signs from the Universe, I left it there and checked out.

I completely forgot about it until I watched it Tuesday night, 12/11/12.  

Honestly, this film can change your life if you let it.  I don’t want to spoil anything, but the movie was the perfect counterpoint to the Ecstatic Wealth event I tried to write about last week. In examining what’s wrong with our planet, Shadyac shows how excessive materialism is actually a mental disease we’ve created in our culture, not our natural state.  But the film is uplifting too, and just like another of my favorites, Samsara, it shows how we truly are all connected; even our small actions have the power to change the world.

See it if you can.  But here’s the coincidence:  Tuesday was actually Tom Shadyac’s birthday.  So in preparation for my own big birthday quest, I heard exactly the message I needed to hear on the creator’s birthday.

Neat, huh?

By the way, Shadyac is best known for making Jim Carrey’s Ace Ventura: Pet Detective and Bruce Almighty.  He also directed The Nutty Professor with Eddy Murphy — the script I loosely modelled one of my screenplays on last year (supervised by Fernley Phillips, The Number 23‘s author).  Okay, this is my own personal mosaic, but:

Do you see how we are all connected?

And yet I still fluctuate between wanting to believe my mystical, magical, intuitive voice and that still needed, logical, linear, lawyer’s mind.  To satisfy the latter, on Monday night I went to a lecture by Dr. Edwin Barnhart, a prominent Maya archeologist.  He basically said that all the 12/21/12 predictions (both the catastrophic and the enlightened) are crap made up by Westerners, and that the modern Maya are just like the rest of us – they’re more than willing to tell us what we want to hear, especially if this helps their 2012 tourism industry.

Fine.  But I still want to believe in the magic.  I want to swim with dolphins and become enlightened.  I want to believe, as Tom Shadyac does, that we are all connected, and that what I think and do matters.

Yes, I AM the problem.  But like the heroine in Bridesmaids, I AM also the solution:

Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids

“You are the problem, Annie. You are also the solution.”

And so are you.

——-

How do you feel about 12/12/12 and 12/21/12?  Are you using this time to become more aware of things that are/are not working in your life?  Or are these just days like any other?

Stonehenge, Atlantis, my Bucket List and the Monster at the End of this Blog

Yikes!  (And you know how much I hate to say “yikes”…)  But there are only 69 days left until 12/21/12.

And you know what that means.

No, I’m not talking about THAT 69 … but the monster at the end of this blog will soon reveal himself.  (And I hope he’ll be a cute little rascal like Grover .. oh wait, I forgot, if Big Bird is getting the axe, Grover probably will too.)

Seriously, the time left until 12/21/12 is speeding by, and it’s probably time to reveal where I’ll be spending the End-of-the-World/My-45th-Birthday in December.

Are you ready?

No, it’s not Belize.  In fact, after much deliberation and far too many travel quotes, it’s not even Mayan.

But before I reveal all, I have to explain just how much the first 111 days of this blog’s journey have surprised me.

When I first started this blog, it was sort of a tongue-in-cheek joke because my 45th birthday happens to coincide with what millions of doomsday freaks predict will be our last day on planet Earth.  (On the other hand, millions of New Age freaks believe 12/21/12 will usher in a new era of unprecedented peace and human evolution.)  Either way, it begged the question: if there really were only 180 days left, how should I spend them?

I didn’t know. 

But what I did know was that I was open to anything, and that we would be spending the summer solstice in Barcelona.  From there on, I was clueless.  And I couldn’t help but think of 2007’s The Bucket List, starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman:

The Bucket List

As you likely recall, the two main characters in the movie were both dying of cancer and abandoned their families to jet set around the world, squeezing in every exotic fantasy they possibly could in their last days.  An unrealistic premise for sure, but the film was a hit worldwide because let’s face it — we all have a Bucket List.

But what was truly on mine?  More travel?  Even though I adore journeys of just about every kind, I knew from the start of this blog that simply taking a few more expensive vacations this year was unlikely to be transformative.

Unless I did things differently.

So with the exception of our starting trip in Spain (which was still a lovely way to reconnect with Hubby), each of my journeys this year has served a deeper purpose beyond simply taking another vacation: Santa Fe and Taos taught me about Zen meditation and how to apply this to writing, the Wisconsin trip helped me connect on a much deeper level with my family, traveling with our dog Tasha in the wine country reminded me of how much I have to be thankful for close to home, and the horses in Tucson taught me how to stand more confidently in my own truth.

So what’s happening in the next 69 days?

Next Tuesday we’ll be touring Stonehenge; on Wednesday I’m meeting with a travel editor in London to discuss how to develop a travel writing career.  From there Hubby and I are revisiting a quaint hotel on the Left Bank in Paris where we first traveled during our dating days — surely something will be rekindled there? 

November will be devoted to everything I love in California, with trips to San Francisco, Half-Moon Bay, Rancho Mirage and the Desert, Santa Barbara and Carmel.  I’ll also be continuing important journeys at home too, including advanced screenwriting classes with Corey Mandell in LA, and a wonderful forum with other women working on increasing our visibility and creating our “ecstatic brand” with Christina Morassi.  (Definitely more on that one to come!  So far, she’s proving much of my skepticism about gurus … um, well … wrong.)

Enough already … So what’s the big finale in December?

Here’s a clue:

Happy Dolphins

Given all I learned from the horses, I’ve decided to go swim with wild dolphins.

Remember how I wanted to end this blog with a “B” name? (“From Barcelona to B_________”)  I’ve now got three:

Bimini, Bahamas, and Bermuda Triangle. 

If the world really is going to end, I may as well go out with a bang, right?  On December 21, I’ll be on a boat somewhere over the Atlantis Energy Vortex in the Bermuda Triangle, where we’ll be  “sending out beams of 5th dimensional consciousness to the planet from this sacred site through a guided meditation.”

Did I mention I’m afraid of boats?

Plus, my least favorite movie of all times is Open Water (can I say “yikes” again?)  But the good part is we’ll be spending hours every day swimming with the wild dolphins, which should be really cool.  The only other catch?

No coffee, and no wine.

In addition to lots of meditation and yoga, the week will include a strict vegan raw food detox diet.  We’ll also be certified in Reiki I and II before the week is up.  New Agey?  For sure. Scary? You bet.

Hubby will NOT be joining me.

And I can’t say that I blame him. 

—–

Will YOU?  I’d love to have some company … Just leave a comment if you’d like more information.

Samsara, Silence, and School (or, How to be Simultaneously Pissed Off and Incredibly Grateful)

Samsara goddess

Look me in the eyes to see if I am telling the truth.

Samsara eyes

Look me in the eyes to understand me.

Samsara monks

Look me in the eyes to understand yourself.

The above images are from the extraordinary film, Samsara.  I saw it earlier this week now have to ask myself:

Is it possible to be both incredibly pissed off and extremely grateful at the same time?

Grateful because this film makes me realize once again how incredibly blessed I am to live here in my oh-so-comfortable little Newport Beach life.

Pissed off because 98% of the world (I’m guessing at this number, but 1.4 billion people are confirmed to live on less than $1.25 per day) do NOT enjoy my hedonistic lifestyle, and the film forces me to look these people in the eye. 

In high resolution.

I’m also back at screenwriting school this week, which used to be inspiring.  But now I’m a little lost because the two best movies I’ve seen in recent years have no dialogue.  (The Artist is the other one.)  How can my weak little pen compete with all these brilliant 1000+ word pictures?

And after seeing the epic cinematography in Samsara, I’ve changed my mind about travel too.  Who really needs to leave home when you can see the entire world in a ninety-nine minute film?  I’m not kidding … you have to see this movie to believe it.  Shot in twenty-five countries over five years, it’s nothing less than the story of what it means to live on this incredible planet during this extraordinary time.

In the context of Buddhism and other Eastern religions, the term Samsāra refers to the repeating cycle of  birth, life, death, and rebirth (reincanation).  But in the film, I believe Samsara is used more broadly to describe what it means to be a human being living on this overcrowded planet right now.  It does so by showing us the vast array of worldly activities which occupy us, our myriad sufferings and joys thereof, as well as the universally unsettled and agitated human mind through which we perceive reality.

It’s both beautiful and disturbing.

And it makes me completely underwhelmed with myself and this crazy dream of trying to create anything of artistic value with mere words.

Wimpy little words.

You really need to SEE this film to understand.

I hope you do.

In the meantime, I’m off to an Equine Therapy retreat in Tucson this week.  (Because this is the type of self-indulgent activity I choose to pursue in my frivolous little life at the moment.) 

Equine therapy

Nevertheless, I’m hoping to learn something valuable from the horses.   At least I’ll be doing my best to work with these creatures consciously and gratefully.  Does mere awareness count as a start?

—–

Have you seen Samsara?  What did you think?  And how does it make you feel about your life?